Katsele kasvavia puita (ei omenapuita, sillä ne ovat muotoonsa taivutetut ja niiden oksat ovat katkotut) miettiessäsi elämääsi ja sosiaalisia suhteitasi. Valitse ne vaihtoehdot, jotka vaikuttavat luontevimmilta puuta katsellessasi mieleen tulevista.
Ole ystävällisen sosiaalinen pikkulintujen kanssa, niin opit valtavasti sosiaalisia taitoja.
Katsele puita kaupunkimaiseman osina kuin ne näkisivät ja ymmärtäisivät kaiken ympärillään. Ole sosiaalinen näin elämänviisaiksi hahmottamiesi "puuhenkilöiden" kanssa, niin opit niiden mallin mukaan elämänviisaaksi itsekin.
perjantai 23. maaliskuuta 2012
UUudet samanmieliset tuttavat jeesaavat
Kun elämä eniten kolhii, eivät vanhat kaverit auta, sillä he ovat ehtineet sosiaalistua uusiin identiteetteihinsä eivätkä halua palata vanhaan. Sen sijaan ne, joiden kanssa juuri nyt jaat suurimmat haaveesi ja ideaalisi siitä, miten elämä pitäisi elää, he jeesaavat ohimennen jotakin olennaista juuri sinen tilanteessasi auttavaa, vaikkeivät ennestään tuntisi lainkaan - heidän kanssaan kuljet samoja polkuja juuri nyt, heidän kanssaan sinulla on yhteinen positiivinen missio: yhteinen identiteetti!
Elämänviisaudesta
Hyönteisten muistojen maa
Kun kesä käy kohti loppuaan, on ampiaisille muilla pikku eliöillä takanaan jo monta kuukautta elämänkokemusta. Enää ne eivät ole vauvaiän ensi kokemusten turvin uusia askelia laajassa maailmassa ottavia päivien ikäisiä pikkukavereita vaan katselevat vanhan elämänviisaan silmin maailmaa ja meitä, jotka kestämme talven. Ne katselevat, tekevät vakain tuumin koko elämän ja seuraavien keväisten sukupolvien kannalta elämää ja kuolemaa koskevia valintoja, koko lajinsa säilymisen kanssa tekemisissä. Katselevat meitäkin ja eivät tiedä, mit kanssamme tekisivät, kun niin kevein tuumin teemme heidän elinoloihinsa suuresti vaikuttavia tekoja: Haravoinko tästä? Kitkenkö? Karsinko pensasta? Ajanko nurmikon vielä alkusyksystä? Luonko lumet maata myöten kylmentäen maanpinnan? Mikä minulle on ohimenevä tuskin havaittava teko, astunko polulle myöhäissyksyisessä heinikossa vaiko askeleen verran viereen, on talvehtivalle kohmeloiselle hyönteiselle elämän ja kuoleman kysymys. Jos hän astuu tavalliseen tapaan, jos hän on sosiaalinen kotiväkensä kanssa kulkiessaan, astuu hän tuttuun tapaan, noita reittejä noin tai noilta elueilta kulkien. Jos hän on tervehenkinen lintujen laulua kuunteleva, astuu hän onnellisia teitä noin, sen kin osaan hyönteisenä ennakoida. Mutta jos jokin ravistaa hänen maailmaansa, jos kylmä talvi neljän seinän sisällä tekee hänet turraksi ja tunteiltaan tyhmäksi, lakaisee hän kenties pihamaan liian tarkkaan liian varhain kuivattaen maan pinnan kasvinjäänteet, joissa hyönteiset talvehtivat, litistäen varisseet roskat, joiden kätköissä pikkuiset ystävät odottavat kevättä. Talvinen puu on kaunis, herkkä: "Varo katkomasta oksia!", se sanoo niin, että vaistomaisesti ymmärrämme. Kesäinen hyönteinen on kaikki, mikä tekee elämästä elämisen arvoista. Kuu kiurusta kesään, puoli kuuta peipposesta, västäräkistä vähäsen ja pääskysestä ei päivääkään. Kun hyönteiset ovat täällä, on kesä: lämmin, onnentäyteinen, ystävällinen, positiivisten tunteiden täyttämä toimeliaisuus, aikaa luonnolle ja aikaa ystäville, aikaa rakentaa uusista ohimenevistä tuttavista ystäviä, on hehkeää ja käy lauha tuulenvire, kaikkialla on tunnelmallista ja yksin ihmisetkin kauniimpia ja paljon talvista jaksavaisempia. Se kaikki on hyönteisten ja kasvien ansiota. Kun loppukesän kylmä yö vie hyönteiset manan majoille, jäävät linnut yksin apeiksi, niiden laulusta katoaa onni ja vasta kevään ensimmäisten hyönteisten ilmaantuminen saa linnut humaltumaan elämisen onnesta, hyönteisten täydellisen elämänviisauden tuomasta riemusta, taas on lintu löytänyt oman paikkansa maailmassa, oman onnensa, jonka tähden se elää ja jaksaa talvenkin ilahduttaa ihmisiä lennollaan. Vasta rikkumaton luonto: hyönteiset ikimetsässä viisi metriä kerrostalon lähimmästä seinästä, kukkien täyttämässä paratiisissa viisi senttimetriä parkkipaikan reunasta, ikiaikaisen järven pinnalla aivan laiturin uimapaikan kupeessa, kaikkialla, missä luontoa on, vasta villit hyönteiset tuovat meidät elämän sydämen äärelle saaden meidät musitamaan omimman luontomme, sen, minkä vuoksi elämme. Vasta hyönteinen on viisas kuin metsän lintu, kuin puu, joka ikiaikaisen suvereenina johdattaa elolliset takaisin oikealle polulle oman luontonsa ääreen, suurimpien haaveidensa toteumisen luo. Vasta hyönteinen ottaa kukkien viisaan elämänmyönteisyyden oman taitotasonsa esikuvaksi, vasta hyönteinen elää paratiisia todellisuudeksi - pihakivellä omakotitalin seinän vierellä, rantaruo'on lehdellä, kesälomalaisen kämmenselällä, ilmassa lehtien yllä, loputtomassa viidakossa korsia, kukkia, todeksi tullutta kauneutta, onnea, tunteikkuutta, elämää ikiaikaisen elollisten luonnon mukaisessa elinympäristössä, viisaasti, varovasti sotilaan tapaan, todellisen sieluntoverin elämänviisaudella ja tunteikkuudella, elämää ymmärtävän kyvyllä tarttua joka hetken merkityksellisyyteen, kokemuksellisen todellisuuden elävän olennon luontoa koskettavuuteen, nähdä kaikki mielekkäimmässä muodossaan, keveästi, joka ihmisen ja eläimen ymmärrettävästi, tarttuvasti kuin perhosen elämänmyönteisyys, oman itseni minä löydän ja niin löydät sinä hiukan toisin, toista kautta mutta yhtä lailla viisauteen päin vaivattomasti näkemyksiäsi korjaten, hetkessä elämän ytimen äärelle päästen, vieraantuneisuudesta eroon arkijärkisen sanoston mukaan johonkin, mikä oli elämässä aina läsnä, aina merkityksellistä perusvirtaa, aina uusi tuttu, arkinen, ikiaikainen viisas, olennaisin, tekemisten toimivuuden antaja, lepohetki ja kaunis virkistys, mielekäs miellyttävyyden kokemus, se käyttövoima, jonka varassa jaksamme yli talven, joka kevät havahtuen, kesästä nauttien, syksyllä omin voimin oman terveen näkemyksen varassa itsenäisesti eteenpäin jatkava, talvella haikaileva, kevättä odottava... Hyönteisten muisto!
Kun kesä käy kohti loppuaan, on ampiaisille muilla pikku eliöillä takanaan jo monta kuukautta elämänkokemusta. Enää ne eivät ole vauvaiän ensi kokemusten turvin uusia askelia laajassa maailmassa ottavia päivien ikäisiä pikkukavereita vaan katselevat vanhan elämänviisaan silmin maailmaa ja meitä, jotka kestämme talven. Ne katselevat, tekevät vakain tuumin koko elämän ja seuraavien keväisten sukupolvien kannalta elämää ja kuolemaa koskevia valintoja, koko lajinsa säilymisen kanssa tekemisissä. Katselevat meitäkin ja eivät tiedä, mit kanssamme tekisivät, kun niin kevein tuumin teemme heidän elinoloihinsa suuresti vaikuttavia tekoja: Haravoinko tästä? Kitkenkö? Karsinko pensasta? Ajanko nurmikon vielä alkusyksystä? Luonko lumet maata myöten kylmentäen maanpinnan? Mikä minulle on ohimenevä tuskin havaittava teko, astunko polulle myöhäissyksyisessä heinikossa vaiko askeleen verran viereen, on talvehtivalle kohmeloiselle hyönteiselle elämän ja kuoleman kysymys. Jos hän astuu tavalliseen tapaan, jos hän on sosiaalinen kotiväkensä kanssa kulkiessaan, astuu hän tuttuun tapaan, noita reittejä noin tai noilta elueilta kulkien. Jos hän on tervehenkinen lintujen laulua kuunteleva, astuu hän onnellisia teitä noin, sen kin osaan hyönteisenä ennakoida. Mutta jos jokin ravistaa hänen maailmaansa, jos kylmä talvi neljän seinän sisällä tekee hänet turraksi ja tunteiltaan tyhmäksi, lakaisee hän kenties pihamaan liian tarkkaan liian varhain kuivattaen maan pinnan kasvinjäänteet, joissa hyönteiset talvehtivat, litistäen varisseet roskat, joiden kätköissä pikkuiset ystävät odottavat kevättä. Talvinen puu on kaunis, herkkä: "Varo katkomasta oksia!", se sanoo niin, että vaistomaisesti ymmärrämme. Kesäinen hyönteinen on kaikki, mikä tekee elämästä elämisen arvoista. Kuu kiurusta kesään, puoli kuuta peipposesta, västäräkistä vähäsen ja pääskysestä ei päivääkään. Kun hyönteiset ovat täällä, on kesä: lämmin, onnentäyteinen, ystävällinen, positiivisten tunteiden täyttämä toimeliaisuus, aikaa luonnolle ja aikaa ystäville, aikaa rakentaa uusista ohimenevistä tuttavista ystäviä, on hehkeää ja käy lauha tuulenvire, kaikkialla on tunnelmallista ja yksin ihmisetkin kauniimpia ja paljon talvista jaksavaisempia. Se kaikki on hyönteisten ja kasvien ansiota. Kun loppukesän kylmä yö vie hyönteiset manan majoille, jäävät linnut yksin apeiksi, niiden laulusta katoaa onni ja vasta kevään ensimmäisten hyönteisten ilmaantuminen saa linnut humaltumaan elämisen onnesta, hyönteisten täydellisen elämänviisauden tuomasta riemusta, taas on lintu löytänyt oman paikkansa maailmassa, oman onnensa, jonka tähden se elää ja jaksaa talvenkin ilahduttaa ihmisiä lennollaan. Vasta rikkumaton luonto: hyönteiset ikimetsässä viisi metriä kerrostalon lähimmästä seinästä, kukkien täyttämässä paratiisissa viisi senttimetriä parkkipaikan reunasta, ikiaikaisen järven pinnalla aivan laiturin uimapaikan kupeessa, kaikkialla, missä luontoa on, vasta villit hyönteiset tuovat meidät elämän sydämen äärelle saaden meidät musitamaan omimman luontomme, sen, minkä vuoksi elämme. Vasta hyönteinen on viisas kuin metsän lintu, kuin puu, joka ikiaikaisen suvereenina johdattaa elolliset takaisin oikealle polulle oman luontonsa ääreen, suurimpien haaveidensa toteumisen luo. Vasta hyönteinen ottaa kukkien viisaan elämänmyönteisyyden oman taitotasonsa esikuvaksi, vasta hyönteinen elää paratiisia todellisuudeksi - pihakivellä omakotitalin seinän vierellä, rantaruo'on lehdellä, kesälomalaisen kämmenselällä, ilmassa lehtien yllä, loputtomassa viidakossa korsia, kukkia, todeksi tullutta kauneutta, onnea, tunteikkuutta, elämää ikiaikaisen elollisten luonnon mukaisessa elinympäristössä, viisaasti, varovasti sotilaan tapaan, todellisen sieluntoverin elämänviisaudella ja tunteikkuudella, elämää ymmärtävän kyvyllä tarttua joka hetken merkityksellisyyteen, kokemuksellisen todellisuuden elävän olennon luontoa koskettavuuteen, nähdä kaikki mielekkäimmässä muodossaan, keveästi, joka ihmisen ja eläimen ymmärrettävästi, tarttuvasti kuin perhosen elämänmyönteisyys, oman itseni minä löydän ja niin löydät sinä hiukan toisin, toista kautta mutta yhtä lailla viisauteen päin vaivattomasti näkemyksiäsi korjaten, hetkessä elämän ytimen äärelle päästen, vieraantuneisuudesta eroon arkijärkisen sanoston mukaan johonkin, mikä oli elämässä aina läsnä, aina merkityksellistä perusvirtaa, aina uusi tuttu, arkinen, ikiaikainen viisas, olennaisin, tekemisten toimivuuden antaja, lepohetki ja kaunis virkistys, mielekäs miellyttävyyden kokemus, se käyttövoima, jonka varassa jaksamme yli talven, joka kevät havahtuen, kesästä nauttien, syksyllä omin voimin oman terveen näkemyksen varassa itsenäisesti eteenpäin jatkava, talvella haikaileva, kevättä odottava... Hyönteisten muisto!
Learn to be responsible
LEARN TO BE RESPONSIBLE IN AN EASY EFFORTLESS NATURAL WAY:
Think of the ages old healthy natural way to live according to the human nature, to our instructions of usage, to our soul on all areas of life.
Like a wolf howling at the moon!
Think of this also in what comes to your relationship to the world: world wide moral, meaningful things to do, for healthier ways of living etc.
Then just live by your feelings toward this right way to live!
Think of the ages old healthy natural way to live according to the human nature, to our instructions of usage, to our soul on all areas of life.
Like a wolf howling at the moon!
Think of this also in what comes to your relationship to the world: world wide moral, meaningful things to do, for healthier ways of living etc.
Then just live by your feelings toward this right way to live!
Get along and be liked
GET ALONG WITH JUST ABOUT ALL
AND DESERVE WELL THE SOCIAL POSITION THAT YOU HAVE:
"I love Life, happiness and things positive for happy life - like most of the others, like You too!
So I take them as my value in the world at large."
If you can agree with this, without ever neglecting badly this point of view, that's it!
AND DESERVE WELL THE SOCIAL POSITION THAT YOU HAVE:
"I love Life, happiness and things positive for happy life - like most of the others, like You too!
So I take them as my value in the world at large."
If you can agree with this, without ever neglecting badly this point of view, that's it!
Love is in our nature
LOVE IS AT THE CORE OF LIFE
Each one loves only one’s own nature, what is inevitable and at the same tima a part of the positive ground for life, of the base for everything, of its strong current. In the end it is our ages old nature, a wolf howling at the moon, the basic material of reality, that upon which everything even nowadays is build upon, that which I cannot avoid recognizing as my deepest most real self and of which I cannot let go in the world because it is the blod that I live by. We are all still by our very structure parts of Gaia, parts of the Mother Earth.
Each one loves only one’s own nature, what is inevitable and at the same tima a part of the positive ground for life, of the base for everything, of its strong current. In the end it is our ages old nature, a wolf howling at the moon, the basic material of reality, that upon which everything even nowadays is build upon, that which I cannot avoid recognizing as my deepest most real self and of which I cannot let go in the world because it is the blod that I live by. We are all still by our very structure parts of Gaia, parts of the Mother Earth.
Advice on creating charm
Advice on creating charm
You are irresistible just when you find life irresistible to you, when you love each and everyone and are thrilled with life’s challenges. That attitude gets reflected from others too, you kind of drag them along to a good way of living. But how to come about this? You must let go of rigid patterns of life and open yourself to new possibilities like most do when they are about to go for a holiday. Catch that mood and let it be your guide to how to live your life, how to approach the things in life and how to be social. But be quick witted in this and pay especially much attention to when it works well and at which moment it has ceased to be effective and when it goes totally ashtray. Since if you are too slow, you start the right way but then continue along some old habit of yours and end up pouring your good will upon others who are stuck on their own habits without you getting anything in return. You ought to keep the thrilled mindset all the time. It isn’t anything fixed, it is like being born anew each moment: “Oh, it is like this… And that! And there is! And there!...” Each new thing which catches your attention gives you strength, each enjoyable experience is kind of fuel that keep you going. And in that it is important that you do not overdo anything, just go with the flow of the situation without “putting it to a box” to repeat, to continue or to give to others – just let go and enjoy life, that way you can endure forever! In social relationships you have to see what is a good way to live for both of you, kind of seduce the other one to the right kind of good times and then just enjoy the thus found entertaining life together.
You are irresistible just when you find life irresistible to you, when you love each and everyone and are thrilled with life’s challenges. That attitude gets reflected from others too, you kind of drag them along to a good way of living. But how to come about this? You must let go of rigid patterns of life and open yourself to new possibilities like most do when they are about to go for a holiday. Catch that mood and let it be your guide to how to live your life, how to approach the things in life and how to be social. But be quick witted in this and pay especially much attention to when it works well and at which moment it has ceased to be effective and when it goes totally ashtray. Since if you are too slow, you start the right way but then continue along some old habit of yours and end up pouring your good will upon others who are stuck on their own habits without you getting anything in return. You ought to keep the thrilled mindset all the time. It isn’t anything fixed, it is like being born anew each moment: “Oh, it is like this… And that! And there is! And there!...” Each new thing which catches your attention gives you strength, each enjoyable experience is kind of fuel that keep you going. And in that it is important that you do not overdo anything, just go with the flow of the situation without “putting it to a box” to repeat, to continue or to give to others – just let go and enjoy life, that way you can endure forever! In social relationships you have to see what is a good way to live for both of you, kind of seduce the other one to the right kind of good times and then just enjoy the thus found entertaining life together.
Advice for dating and finding new friends
Advice for dating and finding new friends
Dress according to your ideals, so people who share the same ideals will find you interesting and start a conversation with you. Avoid pretending to be really like a role that is forced upon you by some custom or for some other reason that is none of your doing, since if you do, you will attract the same kind of bull shit pourn upon you by those who are for that shit.
Likewise, take the first steps on the road toward living totally according to what you consider the ideal way to live. That way you go to places where people are interested in just those things that you consider to be of major importance in life – and avoid going to the opposite kind of meetings which support th things that you wanna get rid of. That way you can have something to talk about your values to others, and so they are much more likely to introduce you to other people that they know who share the same values. Besides, that gives you a much more fulfilling life even a long time before you meet anyone of interest to you. And when you meet such people, you know that you share the same values because you have done something in practice to cultivat them. You are not just a liar claiming to love something, you are one who has actually taken the first steps to dedicate one’s life to the way of living that just you love and admire. Living against your own opinion of what real life is based on drains you, makes you weak, uninspirated, unmotivated, exhausted, makes you uninteresting in the eyes of others – makes you lean on others for fulfillment because you cannot follow your own values yourself but need others to overdo them for you. You can be just thrilled to just say hello to a friend with a soul like yours, while even deep friendship with a wrong type of person for your taste leaves you bored and uninterested.
Do not believe that opposites attract. Those with opposite values in how life ought to be lived typically get classified as enemies. It is the person who shares your goals in life and can help you on the way, that is a good choice for you. That person often has different strengths than you but enjoys your company especially much, like you hers/his. Theere are people with all kinds of views to life in the both sexes. Just those different views together with our different strengths and different social environments and situations of life make our characters different. So pleas do not try to compete with anyone else, since they are all looking for a different kind of mate. Just follow your own taste and build a rewarding social relationship, a sincere friendship mixed with love.
Dress according to your ideals, so people who share the same ideals will find you interesting and start a conversation with you. Avoid pretending to be really like a role that is forced upon you by some custom or for some other reason that is none of your doing, since if you do, you will attract the same kind of bull shit pourn upon you by those who are for that shit.
Likewise, take the first steps on the road toward living totally according to what you consider the ideal way to live. That way you go to places where people are interested in just those things that you consider to be of major importance in life – and avoid going to the opposite kind of meetings which support th things that you wanna get rid of. That way you can have something to talk about your values to others, and so they are much more likely to introduce you to other people that they know who share the same values. Besides, that gives you a much more fulfilling life even a long time before you meet anyone of interest to you. And when you meet such people, you know that you share the same values because you have done something in practice to cultivat them. You are not just a liar claiming to love something, you are one who has actually taken the first steps to dedicate one’s life to the way of living that just you love and admire. Living against your own opinion of what real life is based on drains you, makes you weak, uninspirated, unmotivated, exhausted, makes you uninteresting in the eyes of others – makes you lean on others for fulfillment because you cannot follow your own values yourself but need others to overdo them for you. You can be just thrilled to just say hello to a friend with a soul like yours, while even deep friendship with a wrong type of person for your taste leaves you bored and uninterested.
Do not believe that opposites attract. Those with opposite values in how life ought to be lived typically get classified as enemies. It is the person who shares your goals in life and can help you on the way, that is a good choice for you. That person often has different strengths than you but enjoys your company especially much, like you hers/his. Theere are people with all kinds of views to life in the both sexes. Just those different views together with our different strengths and different social environments and situations of life make our characters different. So pleas do not try to compete with anyone else, since they are all looking for a different kind of mate. Just follow your own taste and build a rewarding social relationship, a sincere friendship mixed with love.
Build a perfect relationship: "Live and let others live!"
Obs! This piece of advice applies not only to family, friends and pals but to all human contacts!
Build A Perfect Relationship
How to get along
Let go, live freely, love life and enjoy the company of your partner. (If you are stuck with a strategy that does not work in a situation, you must first let go of it in order to be able to see the situation with new eyes. Take distance and take yourself care of your own needs so that you do not need to throw them upon the other one, this you achieve best by living in a liberating way. Think, experience, feel, which side of your spouce or pal you like, and enjoy the social contact at those parts, otherwise keep a bigger distance so that you get enough room to live like you wish to live.)
Do not put your thoughts and feelings about these things to words, do not make rigid plans. (Human relationships grow like a tree: slowly one situation grows to another one just the way that feels right then. It is a big error to make one's way to see humans structured like the build environment, like often happens when one thinks about social situations. One trick that helps to this is to look at an ordinary healthy tree always when one thinks about social things.)
Just let yourself grow toward light and give the other one the same freedom too. (When you aim directly to your goals in life, there isn't much else that you could wish from life! And it is of course the same for the other one and his/her goals: a sincere harmony is born!)
One who grows toward light is no obstacle to others, it is the dark thoughts that you should let go of, you should let your spouce be what she/he is without manipulating him/her, without putting to words what she/he is like, without making your needs thoughts in your mind. (Just repeating with a slightly different wording so as to make it easier to apply. Often social situations seen with feelings and experienced strongly are easier to react to than intellectualized situations, since feelings touch our instinct nature, they touch how our social relationships naturally work, while thoughts are clumsy in this and too distant.)
Just plant seeds of love, love toward yourself, love toward life, love toward your spouce and love toward others and the world at large. (Just in this order: take care of yourself, answer your own needs, take care that life will be worth living. Only what is left over can you use to caring about others, for example your spouce - but of course the biggest needs of others too have to be met, it is just so that the daily life swings better if both are spirited and happy. Take also care of all the others and of the world at large, since if you don't those outside factors will be an amazingly huge burden upon your life and your relationship.)
In harmony we coexist, such a harmony is in our nature, it grows from us giving room to our real self and to the real selves of all the others, just let them enjoy life without being obstacles to the happiness of others, and you will all find fulfillment in life, a natural harmony that feels like the only obviously right way to live – wide and varied like the human nature... (We are pack animals, so if we do not do anything completely unnatural, we will all fit well together, regardless of how widely different we may be. One just needs to take care that these differencies have enough room, so that each and everyone can oneself answer one's own needs. Just that's why we are all individuals: so that we could all best take care of ourselfves. And we are social in order to get support from others, which makes the group and us strong.)
How to get along
Let go, live freely, love life and enjoy the company of your partner. Do not put your thoughts and feelings about these things to words, do not make rigid plans. Just let yourself grow toward light and give the other one the same freedom too. One who grows toward light is no obstacle to others, it is the dark thoughts that you should let go of, you should let your spouce be what she/he is without manipulating him/her, without putting to words what she/he is like, without making your needs thoughts in your mind. Just plant seeds of love, love toward yourself, love toward life, love toward your spouce and love toward others and the world at large. In harmony we coexist, such a harmony is in our nature, it grows from us giving room to our real self and to the real selves of all the others, just let them enjoy life without being obstacles to the happiness of others, and you will all find fulfillment in life, a natural harmony that feels like the only obviously right way to live – wide and varied like the human nature...
Build A Perfect Relationship
How to get along
Let go, live freely, love life and enjoy the company of your partner. (If you are stuck with a strategy that does not work in a situation, you must first let go of it in order to be able to see the situation with new eyes. Take distance and take yourself care of your own needs so that you do not need to throw them upon the other one, this you achieve best by living in a liberating way. Think, experience, feel, which side of your spouce or pal you like, and enjoy the social contact at those parts, otherwise keep a bigger distance so that you get enough room to live like you wish to live.)
Do not put your thoughts and feelings about these things to words, do not make rigid plans. (Human relationships grow like a tree: slowly one situation grows to another one just the way that feels right then. It is a big error to make one's way to see humans structured like the build environment, like often happens when one thinks about social situations. One trick that helps to this is to look at an ordinary healthy tree always when one thinks about social things.)
Just let yourself grow toward light and give the other one the same freedom too. (When you aim directly to your goals in life, there isn't much else that you could wish from life! And it is of course the same for the other one and his/her goals: a sincere harmony is born!)
One who grows toward light is no obstacle to others, it is the dark thoughts that you should let go of, you should let your spouce be what she/he is without manipulating him/her, without putting to words what she/he is like, without making your needs thoughts in your mind. (Just repeating with a slightly different wording so as to make it easier to apply. Often social situations seen with feelings and experienced strongly are easier to react to than intellectualized situations, since feelings touch our instinct nature, they touch how our social relationships naturally work, while thoughts are clumsy in this and too distant.)
Just plant seeds of love, love toward yourself, love toward life, love toward your spouce and love toward others and the world at large. (Just in this order: take care of yourself, answer your own needs, take care that life will be worth living. Only what is left over can you use to caring about others, for example your spouce - but of course the biggest needs of others too have to be met, it is just so that the daily life swings better if both are spirited and happy. Take also care of all the others and of the world at large, since if you don't those outside factors will be an amazingly huge burden upon your life and your relationship.)
In harmony we coexist, such a harmony is in our nature, it grows from us giving room to our real self and to the real selves of all the others, just let them enjoy life without being obstacles to the happiness of others, and you will all find fulfillment in life, a natural harmony that feels like the only obviously right way to live – wide and varied like the human nature... (We are pack animals, so if we do not do anything completely unnatural, we will all fit well together, regardless of how widely different we may be. One just needs to take care that these differencies have enough room, so that each and everyone can oneself answer one's own needs. Just that's why we are all individuals: so that we could all best take care of ourselfves. And we are social in order to get support from others, which makes the group and us strong.)
How to get along
Let go, live freely, love life and enjoy the company of your partner. Do not put your thoughts and feelings about these things to words, do not make rigid plans. Just let yourself grow toward light and give the other one the same freedom too. One who grows toward light is no obstacle to others, it is the dark thoughts that you should let go of, you should let your spouce be what she/he is without manipulating him/her, without putting to words what she/he is like, without making your needs thoughts in your mind. Just plant seeds of love, love toward yourself, love toward life, love toward your spouce and love toward others and the world at large. In harmony we coexist, such a harmony is in our nature, it grows from us giving room to our real self and to the real selves of all the others, just let them enjoy life without being obstacles to the happiness of others, and you will all find fulfillment in life, a natural harmony that feels like the only obviously right way to live – wide and varied like the human nature...
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